Question & Answer with Sam and Kelly
Q: This is a question for either or both of you: What is important? After having so many experiences with each other, and lived with each other for a year, AND - as this is a time for Thanksgiving - what do you value the most; what are the most important things in your lives?
A: (Kelly glances at Sam, and responds) "I'd say the most important thing is that we have each other, have a loving relationship. I certainly have to give thanks for having met Sam and somehow grown to love him."
(Sam laughs, and looks at Kelly in mock-anger) "What? You mean it was that hard to love me?" (Kelly reaches over and pinches Sam's bottom) "No, Silly - you know what I mean. We started out on a business basis, then became 'BDSM' partners - as I was intrigued by all the kinks and fetishes that Sam shared with me." (Kelly thinks) "And the higher standards, higher values, living life more adventurously, more enthusiastically."
(Sam nodding) "At a superficial level, we could come up with a long list of 'important' things in our life - like food, sex, travel ... but at a more meaningful level, I would say the most important things are the 'standards and values' that Kelly mentioned. Chief among these is trust and honesty." (Sam glances at Kelly, who nods imperceptibly) "And openness with each other. Sharing life experiences, and sharing our thoughts about them."
(Kelly smiles) "I've only been with Sam a year and a half, but we've already had a huge range of experiences - together, and with others." (laughing) "Some people ask me how I can be OK with letting Sam 'play' with my friends; or, most often, all of us doing intimate things together. But I don't feel that I'm losing anything, just making closer relationships with my friends, and gaining more life experiences with Sam. I realize that most people won't understand this. But I think that is that is one of the things that brings Sam and I onto a higher plane. Sam has - we have - some very strong ethical values; but they don't include most of the Victorian and religious social mores."
(Sam) "But Kelly is right: What I value most in my life is having Kelly to share it with me." (Sam reaches over and holds Kelly's hand) "It's an amazing feeling being in love. Something that I never really thought would happen to me. And - after more than a year - I know it's not just an infatuation; I love Kelly's mind, her personality, and her body. And she has gotten me to look at my own values and, in some cases, modify them."
(Sam thinks further) "And, although I love my technical gadgets, it's not about possessions; and it's certainly not about money. I think Kelly and I could be happy together, even if we were poor - not that I'm volunteering to prove it. But after Sarah passed, my relationships with other people have become more important. We have developed a very loving relationship with Kelly's friends - it has gone beyond 'playing' with them. But my love for Kelly supercedes all."