Excerpt #5: Weekend Experience (Book 3)
As sensitive and caring as Sam had been, I could not deny that there was a ‘macho’ element to him; in a good sense, and without his ‘acting’ macho. Sam was a strong person, obviously very experienced with women and with life, and very self-confident. He was comfortable to be with. I briefly wondered if my comfort yesterday had anything to do with Sam’s bizarre definition of ‘sex’, and insistence that we didn’t have sex during my first punishment experience. Maybe Sam’s demarcation of sex was not bizarre, but it was at least nerdy … almost sophomoric. But sex was never a concern for me: Either I would be getting out of there as soon as possible or, I assumed, we would be having sex. Not a big deal.
I pulled into the driveway of my parents’ home, and drove around behind the detached garage. I grabbed the beach tote filled with a mess of clothes, and ran up the steps, opening the door of my ‘apartment’, and flopping down on the bed. During the drive, my brain had been awash with memories of and thoughts about my incredible experience with Sam. Now, as I relaxed into the softness and familiarity of my own bed, I considered what all this meant. Where would it lead? What did I want from the relationship, and what would I put into it? But I already knew that I was willing to put more into the relationship with Sam than I had been motivated to do any time previously in my life.
I am not naïve, and certainly could see Sam’s point – that I might get hurt, when I realize that I don’t really want an older man, or when Sam decides he doesn’t want to be with me, after I am emotionally invested in the relationship. On the other hand, I have not been looking for a relationship, only for a little spice and some companionship; with someone who I respect, and who respects me. With someone interesting, intelligent, tall, dark and handsome. Well, Sam’s taller than I am, has a nice tan and only a touch of silver around the sides of his head of thick hair, and he is very good looking … for his age. That stopped me: Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hard on Sam for his age-based generalities?
I would have to talk to my friends about Sam – not that I often agreed with their opinions or followed their suggestions. Julie and Linda’s brief meeting with Sam in the restaurant had been strange; Sam and I had been preoccupied, and they were on their way to a movie for Linda’s birthday. And, I had that silly remote-controlled vibrator inside me. And Sam had insisted on ‘pushing my button’ several times while I spoke with Julie and Linda. I would need to explain my strange behavior, not to mention Sam’s smirk, when I saw them next.
Even sillier was Sam’s invitation to give Linda a ‘birthday spanking’! Oh, my – this might be more difficult to explain than I had thought. There was Sam’s suggestion of introducing him as a ‘professional spanker’. But now that I thought about it, that was a crazy idea (who’s ever heard of a professional spanker, anyway?). An honest approach might be the best: Sam is helping me with my career, and also teaching me about the fetish world. That sounded ridiculous, also; but I had approached Sam with only my career in mind. We had discussed my career … and oh, so much more!
Sam may have been correct, when he suggested that having an intense experience like we’d had yesterday brings people closer together, and develops emotional bonds. But even ‘the morning after’, in my own room, I cannot escape the fact that I have strong feelings for Sam. I’m actually sad that I had to leave this morning. Not that Sam had kicked me out of his house, exactly …
I couldn’t help but wonder again what I was finding so alluring, so inescapable about this man. I remembered what I had thought yesterday afternoon – that my eyes had been opened, and I was attracted to the higher standards lived by Sam. More openness, honesty, intelligence, consideration, intimacy, enthusiasm and excitement than I have ever experienced before with anyone.
I got up from the bed and reached down into the tote bag, pulling out my very conventional PJs. I smiled, remembering how Sam – rather than being disappointed that I hadn’t donned a negligee – had told me how cute I looked in the pajamas. My emotions hit me again: Sam was a really nice guy.
As I was about to correct myself about the ‘nice guy’ thought, I reached into the bag and brought out some of the sexy bras and underwear from my ‘fashion show’ for Sam. No, not a ‘nice guy’ in that way! I then thought about Sam consoling me after my tawsing at the foot of the bed … and those incredible beads! Sam was not ‘nice’, but he was very caring and considerate. The image of Sam in the ‘chair position’, awaiting his spanking, suddenly filled my brain. And then I recalled the discussion we’d had – just this morning – about my being a ‘sex slave’.
I dropped the clothes on the floor, and lay back on the bed. As my mind wandered, so did my hand, making its way under my pants and underwear to my throbbing clit.