Excerpt #2: First Experience (Book 2)
“OK, young lady, step out of that mess around your legs. I bent down, and Kelly put her hand on my shoulder, as she alternately lifted one foot and the other, and I pulled her clothing aside. She stood back up, putting her hands on her head, and I grabbed her clothes, and stood up in front of her. I slowly untangled the pants and underwear. I handed the pants to Kelly, and said, “Fold these nicely, please.” She did so. I then handed her the underwear, and said, “Put these things on one of the chairs in front of the desk, then come back here.”
Kelly walked over to the office area, carrying her clothes, while I watched her red, receding bottom sway with every step. I quickly picked up the things next to the stool, put the stool back against the wall, and walked into the bathroom to throw away the tissues, and clean the thermometer. While I was washing my hands, I looked into the mirror, and a very self-satisfied face smiled back at me. I was living a dream – but it was better than any fantasy that I had ever had.
When I returned to the playroom, Kelly was in a proper standing position where the stool had been before, awaiting my return. “Kelly, are you hungry or thirsty? I know you haven’t had much this morning.”
Kelly watched me walk through the room towards her, and said, “I guess I’m getting a little hungry, but my stomach is still pretty nervous. Could I please just have some water, Sir?” I backtracked to the coffee table, grabbed her glass, and went behind the bar to add some ice and fill it with purified water. I brought the water to her, and as she took it, and drank almost half in a few gulps, she looked sheepishly at me, and said, “Thank you, Sir. You’re being very nice to me, considering you’re also beating me!”
Her tone sounded nice, but that statement got me a little upset. I took the glass, and put it down on the table near the wall, and then turned towards her. She had put her hands back on her head. “Kelly! First of all, I already told you that your punishment would be given with respect. Other than your bottom being sore, I want you to be comfortable. And I certainly don’t want you to get dehydrated, or have any other health problem.
Secondly, I’m not ‘beating’ you! I am applying a measured degree of pain, taking care to let your bottom acclimate to the experience, and not taking it too fast for you. And, if you remember our discussion earlier – it is not about ‘hurting’ you, but about giving you the experience of feeling fear – and some pain – and being strong enough, brave enough, having enough control over your body, and wanting to please me enough to deal with it. As I said, you’ve done very well so-far.”
Kelly looked down at her feet, thinking about what I had said. “I don’t know, Sir. I’m trying to understand all this.” She looked at me again, with a child’s face, “It’s confusing … one moment you’re spanking me so hard, I don’t think I can stand it … and the next, you’re treating me like an honored guest, making sure all of my needs are met. When you’re spanking me, it feels like I should hate you, and when you’re nice again, I almost think I love you. I’m on an emotional roller-coaster, and I still don’t know if I could do this again.” Kelly looked down again, with her face in a pout, her hands still on her head.
I gently lifted her chin, until our eyes met. “I told you that pain and pleasure, love and hate, are related feelings and emotions that are very close together. Your feelings and confusion are normal; please hang in there, and let’s see how you do on your next two level-10 punishments – which we are about to begin now. After you have successfully reached level-30, we’ll take a break and have some lunch. Then we can talk more about how you’re feeling. Does that sound alright?”
Kelly looked at me, with tears starting to fill her eyes again. “Yes, Sir. I’m sorry, Sir, I didn’t mean to complain … but this is all so weird … I expected this to be about the physical pain and doing simple things like undressing for you; I’m realizing it’s not really about that at all. I’m sorry to tell you this, Sir, but it’s not about you at all. It’s much more about me dealing with my own feelings. And, I’ve never been very good at that.” Kelly looked down again, and was silent.
In my most fatherly voice I said, “Kelly, it sounds like this experience may be good for you – to put you in touch with yourself, give you confidence that you are strong enough – emotionally – to do this, and give you some insight into the perversions that some of us ‘old guys’ have. We are still doing this only because you’re willing to, and we can still stop the scene any time you feel it is getting too much for you. All I ask is that you give it a chance. Let’s talk about this again during lunch. Maybe after another two level-10 punishments, you will have a better idea of what you think about all this. OK?”
Kelly mumbled, “Yes, Sir.”