Q: Kelly, during those incredible spankings, were you taking the pain just for Sam’s benefit, to please him?
K: Initially, I just wanted to try it – get some ‘feeling’ back from the deadening influence of my past life. Or lives. And, that first day – taking the first level-30 or so – I wasn’t sure I could take much more; or wanted to. It really did hurt! But, somehow, several of the punishments actually turned me on. By the end of that first morning, I was getting wet from ‘excitement’ – perhaps the endorphin rush? But I think it was a mostly physical thing.
After Sam let met punish him the first time, the perspective of my fantasies suddenly gravitated to the position of domination – the top; or maybe ‘domme’. Then, after Sam spanked Julie, my fantasies focused on topping her; what a change in role that would be! I usually would have thought of Julie in the domme role … but she was very docile taking that spanking from Sam. It obviously really turned her on, too.
Who knows what gets people excited – except themselves? It’s meaningless outside the mind that is thinking it. So, I guess the answer is no, it’s not just for Sam – I do get turned on by the pain; at least sometimes. But my fantasies are now aligned to what is happening in real life well enough that the pain helps. Does that make any sense? And my fantasies keep evolving; not long ago, I didn’t really have fantasies, and now, my mind is overflowing with them.